“Frankly, I think women should be in the driver’s seat. Society and relationships work better that way,” he said. Shirakawa likes to wear his girlfriend’s clothes and often shows up for work wearing her blouse and jeans, to the general approval of his co-workers.

This is a quote from a very interesting read in the International Herald Tribune regarding the reversal of male-female dominated relationship in Japan.  Studying abroad here with Japanese students, foreign students are quick to point out the skinniness and general androgyny among Japanese male students.  Most, but not all, guys have their hair on the long and wavy side, filled with product and styled immaculately.   A lot of foreign students remark that in many cases, the guys are better dressed than their girlfriends.  I have seen men head straight for the women’s hair products section in drug stores.  It is a definite sign of a role reversal going on among young adults in Japan, where guys are more concerned about their weight and appearance than their female counterparts:

Indeed, young men claim to want to be pursued and then nurtured - they often hate to make the first move and often shy away from conflict. “I never fight with my girlfriend because I know I’ll lose,” is how Shirakawa put it. “It’s just a lot more comfortable for me if I go along with everything she says.”

Because of this mentality, a lot of foreign students find that they have a harder time making male Japanese friends than female ones, who are more socially outgoing.

I also love the comment on the “unsexy miniskirt,” in which “Japanese women have reclaimed sexuality as their very own and now dress to enhance their self-esteem rather than to please the male gaze.”  Japan is full of fads and trends that get misinterpreted by Westerners, and this is definitely a big one that gets misconstrued by foreign students, who interpret the miniskirt-tights-and-boots outfits to be intentionally slutty for Western guys.  It is actually more probable that the girls who engage in this fashion do it for just that–the fashion.

Since the miniskirt is no longer associated with sexual images, they can confidently wear what might be thought of as promiscuous outfits in Western eyes.  This of course leads to conflicts in ways of thinking in relationships between Western guys and Japanese girls, but that is a whole other can of worms.  In any case, this article hits home here and make for a very interesting social study.

Resource: In Japan, It’s Men Who Want to be Skinny and Cute (International Herald Tribune)

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